Afraid of doing it all wrong

Afraid of doing it all wrong

Ang hirap magkamali. Sa maraming bagay, ang intensity or level ng difficulty nag iincrease sa pagdaan ng panahon. Nakakatakot mapagalitan dahil nagkamali ka. Nakakatakot majudge dahil mali yung nagawa mo.

I am presently a trainee sa field na napili kong pasukan. After a few months of training, I feel like I still have a lot to learn. I feel like I haven't learned anything.

Just the other day we were given a job. I spent the whole shift figuring out what to do and doing the whole thing. My brain was like 'hey, com'on! Give me some break!'. Coz it was only the second time I was given that kind of job. I had no idea on what I should do. So I just followed what I thought was right. Gawa nalang ng gawa. Kung mali, babaguhin naman nila yun.
Natapos ko naman but after our boss checked it out, he asked for the job to be revised - as in totally revised! Binura lahat ng ginawa ko and pinagawa sa iba. It took me 10 hours to do the job - the wrong way! It took a cotrainee to do the job 3 hours - the right way.

Bano. Nakakainis. I'm thinking 'Am I that stupid?!'. Kasi parang oo. Well, sabagay, siguro due to lack of experience kaya ganun nalang. Pero having a cotrainee do it for that short amount of time, shiyet! Narealize ko ang bano bano ko namn.

But it doesn't end there. Natatakot ako sa naisip nung boss namin. Was he thinking the same? Na ang stupid ko? Hay.

Ang hirap magkamali. Ang hirap iredeem ng sarili.